So called... life...

11th GRADE…
As I sat there in English class, I stare at him when he walks past me towards visitor’s hall. He was my so called Friend. I stared at him and wished he was mine. But he didn’t notice me the way I did and I knew it. After class we met as usual and I was listening quietly to his talk. While leaving home he just shook my hand and left. My heart cried I wanted to tell him; I want him to know what I think. I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why. One fine day he came to me and said I wanted to talk to you. I said I will meet him in the evening as usual. The day which changed my life once for all, 19th Jan 1999. The day he came and told me that he loves me. I should have replied immediately but I just walked back home

FIRST YEAR in college…
Though I was not interested in going to the college where he studied I still wanted to see him. Days just passed. One day the calling bell rang. It was him. He was handsome as ever. Mumbling to me how he came to see his friend and thought will just say a hie to me. Something had brought him to me.  He had come to see me as he wants to be my friend again. As I sat next to him and stared into his piercing eyes I was wishing he was mine.  After chatting for 2 hours he decided to go home, I just want to tell him that I love him. He looked at me and said, thanks and shook my hands again saying that lets be friends again I have missed you. I want to tell him, I want him to know that, I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I couldn tell him I don’t know why.

SENIOR YEAR in college…
After  a years gap, I just got down from the bus and tried to find out whether he was in his shop. He wasn’t I sadly turned back and started walking home. Suddenly I could see some one waving at me. I stood where i was, lifted my face saw him smiling at me. I was just staring at him. He said in the sign language that he will call me. I turned  back to make sure that he is telling it to me. I went flying home.  He called me the same day, and he promised that we will be ‘Best Friends’. So we did  (I thought so). After a month he was standing at my door step and stared at me  with his powerful eyes. I beckoned him in. I wanted to tel him,, I want him to know that I love him and I don’t want to be just friends, but I couldn’t and I don’t know why

GRADUATION…
A day passed, then a week, then a month. It happened I finished my college and was planning to move to Chennai in search of job. He said that before that he will take me out as said he did take me to kakha kakha the first and the last movie. It happened too.  I watched him as he perfectly explained to me about the movie he liked. I just wanted him to be mine.. But he dint notice me like that, and I knew it. Again he shook hands with me and said bye and take care. I cried as I walked back home.  I want to tel him, I want him to know that,  I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but couldn’t I don t know why.

OUT OF COUNTRY..
The day at the airport. He was with me the whole day. I was just watching him as though I wont get him  back. We sit in the sands on the beach. He is going away from me now. The one I loved is going in search of his life. I wanted him to be mine, but he dint see me like that, I knew it, but before he went in, last time he hold my hand and said bye take care. I wanted him to be mine, but he dint think on those lines, I knew it. I wanted to shout t don’t want to be friends. I love you. But I kept quiet.

BACK(to be contd)…. 

Comments

Popular Posts